Hey, dudes, wassup? Elvis here, coming to you from our ship, which is just about to pass Pluto. Pluto is my favorite planet in your galaxy because it is named after a dog, and I LOVE DOGS!! Some of my favorite Earth beings are dogs. Larry is giving me static because he says Pluto isn’t really a planet, and it’s not named for the dog Pluto. He be all like, “Dog, you all damp!” And I be like, “I don’t care. I like my story better.”
In case you are worried about little Getlo, my dog, you can just chill because he is being taken care of by my good friend Hank back on Earth. Dogs would not enjoy space travel, I think. All the presents y’all sent him, like the Elvis costume, stayed behind on Earth. Hank was supposed to take everything to the Salvation Army, but he wrote me that he couldn’t bear to give up the Elvis costume, so Getlo will be ready for Halloween if Hank takes him tick or treating.
Speaking of bears, I like them, too—especially UCLA Bruins. I was an honorary Lobo the last time I visited Earth, which means wolf. I was almost a Georgetown Hoya, too, but I don’t know what a hoya is, and my translator doesn’t know, either. But it must be a dog because that is their mascot—a very spikey-looking dog with two teeth and a hat.
Well, that’s all for now—Hank always told me to keep my blog posts short and sweet. Maybe I will write more after we pass Pluto. In the meantime, don’t take any wooden nickels!